Right, I’m just putting it out there this week. Women are their own worst enemies. Discuss….

Here’s my two pennies worth:

I’ve had so much whizzing around in my head this week. I’m not going to attempt to regurgitate it all here as it would actually look like a pile of sick. So here’s what I concluded. For the third time, women are their own worst enemies.

We’re currently in the throws of preparing for our screenings of Embrace, happening in a couple of weeks, and therefore a lot of our conversations have centred around body image. During our research I’ve come across some startling statistics:

  • 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies
  • 58% of college girls feel pressure to be a certain weight
  • 1/3 of people who admit to ‘normal dieting’ will merge into ‘pathological dieting’ and ¼ of those will result in a full on eating disorder
  • The age of 17 is when body image appears to matter most – 27% of teenagers say their appearance is more important than their physical health…WTF!

Now as a mother of 3 daughters I feel hugely responsible here. Chloe blogged a few weeks back on the F word with our kids (Fat not Fuck), however, it’s not enough on it’s own. That’s why we’re supporting The Body Image Movement by buying 2 licences to screen their film. When 2000 licences have been bought they will make the Body Image Education Study Guide available to every secondary school in the UK.

Now, back to the point of women being their own worst enemies. When it comes to discussing how women are objectified and portrayed in the media etc, men are often blamed. We snarl and hiss at men for how they treat women. Now, granted, they absolutely play their part and they need to sort their shit out about that. What often gets missed though, or overlooked significantly, is how women treat other women. Tonight sees the new series of the Apprentice begin and as I saw it advertised I began to recall, from previous series’, just how catty and bitchy the women get with each other in order to win. That lead me to think more broadly and in context with my own life and experiences…. I shall share a few of them now.

I found my high school years really bitchy – so much back stabbing, bitchiness and slagging off went on. It made me stressed and panicky at times. I couldn’t wait to leave school so it would all be over. Only it wasn’t. It didn’t go away once we left the playground. In fact, it got worse. My teenage years were even more bitchy and fuck me, the workplace was horrendous!

I’ve always preferred to work in teams with less women and more men. I’ve even preferred to have a male boss throughout my career. All because, you just never knew where you stood with the women. You couldn’t quite trust them or what they said. Outright shocking!

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m no angel and I’ve played my part in that too. It’s sad that it’s taken me 38 years to actually do something about it.

One thing I will point out is that it’s in the small things, never the big things so much. Ask yourself now if you’re bitchy? Did you say no? I did when I first asked myself that question but I was wrong. I started to notice myself making little comments about people and their appearance, even just on TV, like… oh god, look at the state of her! And that’s it! That’s where it all happens. It’s in those moments, when we’re not even conscious of our actions and behaviour, that it all comes leaking and oozing out of us.

I did a little bit of digging (well, I googled it) and came across some interesting reading about why this isn’t learnt behaviour in isolation. It’s actually an innate female characteristic. Without boring you with the detail, I read that our bitchiness towards each other stems from a desire to secure a mating partner. Now I get that. But I’m not sure God quite had the degree of foresight to factor in social media and photoshopping into the mix back then. Yes, it makes physiological and biological sense but over time we’ve gotten it all soooooo wonky in its application. And we’re better and more intelligent creatures than that!


So, women of the world. Let’s put an end to the torturous way we treat each other. We’ve enough to be fighting for without the need to scrap at each other. We should be supporting each other, championing each other, celebrating each other and creating the sisterhood. If not for ourselves, then for our daughters and the next generation.

So it’s time for action.

If you are as passionate about this subject as we are…… or have daughters yourself…… or have been the subject of the bitchiness…. Or have been the bitch…… (now I’m certain everyone falls into at least one of those categories so no wiggling out of it!) get your backside to one of our Embrace screenings and help us raise awareness and funds to educate our youth on positive body image.

Our mission on the night is to raise enough to buy a couple of licences to gift to our local/daughters schools so they can watch the film too – please give us your support.

You can watch the trailer of the film here: https://www.facebook.com/bodyimagemovement/videos/1117906731670334/


Our Manchester screening takes place on Monday 16th October and you can buy your ticket here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1249397295205748/


Our Sheffield screening takes place on Monday 23rd October and you can buy your ticket here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1933862386936990/


Lots of love,


V x