Ok, strange blog title I know and you must think I’m nuts for even coming up with this topic as a blog post but bear with….

In my downstairs loo at home we have this sign up on the wall. I bought it when on a hen do in York about 5 years ago, simply because it made me laugh… and think…. Where did that saying come from and what does it mean? What IF the Hokey Cokey REALLY is what it’s all about? I’ve been meaning to write about it for sometime and that day has finally come.


I loved this song (and dance) as a child and enthusiastically took part in it at many a birthday party (my kids think I’ve lost it if I sing it now, they have absolutely no idea!) But it was just a bit of fun, right?

As the natural curious child we all once were, I remember asking someone what it was about and what did it mean? I was met with “It’s just a silly song”. Now I’m older and I’m even more freakin curious! So, I thought I’d take some time out (I was supposed to be being mindful and as usual my mind wandered off and I failed to reign it back in!) to disseminate my version of what it means. So here goes…

The process is all about putting body parts ‘in’ and ‘out’ starting off quite timidly with the odd arm and building up to the whole body which suggests to me a sense of testing out and gradual immersion in something… life perhaps?

After each body part has been in and out a few times, we shake it all about, do the Hokey Cokey and turn around – an interesting part of the process. This could translate into the evaluation of a particular life experience. The putting in and out of the body part is the experience. The shake it all about maybe illustrating the exit and ‘shake off’ of the experience. The Hokey Cokey being the reflection on the experience and the turn around being the conclusions we draw and the recalibration as we come back to face the circle refreshed with our newfound learning to inform the next experience along the journey.

And for me, that is what it’s all about. Life is about experiences. We grow as we expose ourselves to more experiences (put more body parts in) and take the time to step back, reflect, draw lessons and conclusions and then use those to inform us and serve us well for future experiences. This applies whether those experiences are good or bad. The good ones are easy. You like it so you want to do it more. The bad ones are where it gets interesting. I’ve always lived true to the saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” A few more people could benefit from this premise.  A lot of people simply run away and hide from those and don’t actually DO the Hokey Cokey with them and therefore, don’t grow. It’s tough and uncomfortable. But, to lead that happy and fulfilling life it’s important that we reflect after the experience, draw lessons and conclusions and use them for next time.


So, back to the question… What if the Hokey Cokey really is what it’s all about?

Well, if my interpretation is anything to go by then the Hokey Cokey REALLY is what it’s all about! If you really want to lead a happy and fulfilling life then YOLO! Chuck yourself head first into as many experiences as you can. The scarier the better! AND then make sure, whether you had a blast or shit yourself, you take the time to step out, reflect, learn, recalibrate and then throw yourself back in!

It’s easier said than done! I experience it myself – I put off doing something because I’m scared of what might happen. Luckily for me, I’ve got Chloe behind me who just pushes me in, and that’s what I need sometimes.

If you need pushing in, come and join us at Violet and Charlie. We promise you’ll learn a lot and you’ll certainly grow and live the happy and fulfilling life you deserve.

What are you waiting for?


V x