What? You want me to be vulnerable? But that’s just for weak and wimpy people isn’t it?
You couldn’t be more wrong. Being vulnerable is the new super power for those who want to be their own hero and take ownership for creating the life they dream of.
Here’s the thing.
- It’s liberating – it’s freeing as when you open up to your insecurities yourself then you hold the key. Nobody else can hurt you.
- It helps you love yourself – being vulnerable is about accepting your true self and allowing others to see it.
- It deepens relationships – when you know your own mind and are comfortable in your own skin you shine to others, appear relaxed, authentic and give off an infectious energy that draws others to you.
- It builds trust – in a time when trust in society is at an all time low then any opportunity to create it is like rocking horse shit! To build trust, you first extend trust. Making yourself vulnerable by placing your trust in others triggers the principles of reciprocity and that behaviour breeds behaviour. In high trust societies things happen faster, at lower cost and with increased engagement….. everybody wants those things!
- It is good for your health – being vulnerable means we open up to others and connect. We’re creatures of connection, love and belonging so in this state our blood pressure is lower and we release more happy hormones instead of cortisol, the stress hormone.
But that’s only the what and the why. Now comes the hard bit – HOW. How do you actually do it?
When everything innate in your body is telling you not to, to protect yourself, put your barriers up, run, flee, hide, front it out! It’s not that easy. Sometimes we just gotta do hard stuff though right?
Here’s my top tips to get you started:
- Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. We tend to block or bury feelings that make us uncomfortable, like, if we feel inadequate because we don’t want to face up to them, we’re scared of what we might find out about ourselves. To help with this, practice being honest with yourself about the feeling that you are experiencing e.g. shame or guilt and why you have those feelings – look in the mirror as you do it if you need to.
- Put yourself first. Vulnerability is the same as asking for help, which can be difficult and as women we are notoriously great at putting ourselves last. We all know that you can’t be there for someone else properly if you don’t take care of yourself. People will value you more as they feel secure because you are honest and not perfect.
- Practice high trust behaviours and extend your trust to others. Talk straight, demonstrate respect and listen first are three killer behaviours to give you a head start.
Vulnerability allows us to no longer worry what other people think, to escape the shackles of being judged and being judgemental ourselves which can only lead to a happier, healthier version of you!